Saturday, January 7, 2012

Don't be a Penelope.

You know those people?
Oh, you don't? Okay here's an example:

You: "Hey, so today I went skiing."
Them: "Oh, fun! I don't know if you know this, but I am super duper good at skiing. I've been skiing since I was five years old and I go pretty much every winter. I know you probably don't have money for this, but I get a season pass every year, so basically it's just probably obvious that I love skiing more than you."
You: "Oh, cool. I actually, just... wanted to tell you about my first time skiing, but since you felt the need to one-up me, I'm just gonna go tell someone else."

Ya know.
THOSE people. They're everywhere. Sometimes I fear that I am one of those people.
But my first new years resolution is this:

Don't be one of those people.

It can go both ways though, sometimes it goes a little like this:

You: "So, my dog died yesterday and I'm pretty sad about it."
Them: "Oh... I totally know how you feel. When my (close relative or friend) died, it was so hard. I was crying for days- I don't think I'll ever be the same. It's okay though, cause I'll get over it even though I'm probably extremely emotionally scarred for the rest of my life, and your problem just doesn't compare cause everyone knows that losing a (close relative or friend) is ten times worse than losing a dog, but anyways... I'm sorry, anything I can do? I'm totally here for you." 

There is a huge difference between sympathy and empathy, people. And better yet, there is a huge difference between good, normal, effective empathy and dumb empathy that makes everyone else feel bad about themselves. 


There is a huge difference between sharing tidbits about your life that add to a conversation, and one-upping, excessively. I know several one-uppers and over-empathizers. They're called Teenagers. We all do it, but I just hope we can strive harder this year to:

A) Be more sincere when helping others with problems, and congratulating others on their successes and experiences.
B) Stop being obsessed with ourselves and how much we have done, or how much we have suffered, etc.
C) Not be idiots. 

It's annoying, not helpful and in the end makes anyone feel unimportant. 
Now, if you are reading this post and thinking to yourself:
"Umm.. I remember telling Maren how much I loved Tinkerbell once, and she TOTALLY tried to one-up me and tell me that she loved Tinkerbell more than me..."
Or any experience like that.
I apologize.
I do not want to be one of those people, and I hope all of you will try not to be as well. 

Please just watch this video, cause it explains perfectly what I am trying to convey in a less bossy, manipulative way :)

Just click on the picture, I apologize for the advertisement, but I promise the video is worth it!

Anyways, don't be a Penelope. Nobody likes a Penelope.
Love you all.

If you want to be happy, be.
-May May 

1 comment:

  1. SERIOUSLY. I hate one uppers, I have met so many. I bet I know the most of any person in the world, and I bet they bother me the most of any person in the world, so really, Maren, the amount of one uppers you have met really doesn't compare.