Monday, December 12, 2011

What I know.

Without fail, every time I start to doubt Heavenly Father's love for me,
He shows me. 
Like, right then. 
Here's an example:
(this has happened MULTIPLE times)

I'm driving Barbara-Ann, thinking about all the wrong-ness I've done, all of those sarcastic remarks I made to my brother, all those classes I skipped... and I start to get down on myself.
(That's what happens when my Taylor Swift CD is SCRATCHED and I can't listen to it!)
I begin thinking, usually, something along the lines of:
"Why would God even care about me? He is probably so angry with me. I seriously doubt he even cares if I make it to rehearsal on time. He probably doesn't even care that my Taylor Swift CD is scratched and I totally want to listen to Sparks Fly right now!"
And RIGHT then. RIGHT as soon as I begin to let those horrible thoughts flow through my head...
I hear Taylor's voice serenading me on the radio!
Time stops and I have a whole extra five minutes to get to rehearsal!
And literally, the next song on the radio is American Honey, which I love to sing.
And the next song is by Nora Jones.
And then I randomly see a billboard that says
"Kermit the frog eats flies and dates a pig... (something inspiring)"
And I realize how good life is. 
It's almost as if God could hear my thoughts, and wanted to just send me a little message saying
I love you.
I know it's false to think that God would take the time to put Taylor Swift on the radio, and maybe he doesn't. But what he does is give me hope. And happiness. For just a few minutes. 
And I remember that He is God, and I am me. And that's all there is to it. 

My favorite talk from last conference was the talk that Elder Uchtdorf gave, entitled
You Matter to Him
It's very very good. Look it up.
One of the main points that Elder Uchtdorf made, something that struck me extra hard, was the fact that God created the universe. 
And he created it for us. 
For me.
Why would God create a universe to just sit there and look at it, himself?
He didn't.
He did it to make us happy.
Because he loves us :)

That was the jist (gist? gyst? jyst?) of his talk, but it really had such a powerful impact on me, and I have just finished reading it again. So I thought I would share it with you- God's children, who he loves. 

"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season- he sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

Sometimes I think about my trials. 
I think everyone thinks about their trials once in a while.
And I think, 
"Why THAT? Out of all the trials you could have given me, why THAT?!"
And I sit there, being grumpy and ungrateful. 
The other day I shared a scripture with Acting Up at our Saturday morning rehearsal:

"My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them, even the glory of Zion; and he that will not bear chastisement is not worthy of my kingdom. Let him that is ignorant learn wisdom by humbling himself and calling upon the Lord his God, that his eyes may be opened that he may see, and his ears opened that he may hear." 

(I underlined my favorite parts)
This scripture has changed my whole perspective on life, and trials, and faith. 
D&C 136: 30-31
Has saved my faith.
I realized, as I read this OVER and OVER, that Heavenly Father gives us trials so that we can return to Him. He doesn't give us trials so we will turn away and find happiness in other things. He wants to hear from us. He loves us. Praying to him makes him happy. 

I'm not using this post as an opportunity to preach. But I am using it as an opportunity to share my testimony because I realized I haven't ONCE shared my testimony on this blog of mine.
And seeing as my testimony is the best thing I own...
I want you guys to know I have one. 

There was one day this summer, when it started to get a little chilly. I was having a somewhat bad day and had resorted to curling my hair (I do that when I'm stressed). I had nothing to do, and noticed that it was raining outside. 
I slipped on some sweats, grabbed my i-pod, and went outside to sit on my porch and wait for my mom to get home from work. And sitting there on my porch, the rain pouring, I realized that God lives. It was a really small moment to make such a huge realization, but I'll always remember it. 
I had just been thinking about how it had been a long time since I'd seen a rainbow. I started hoping to see a rainbow. I stared at the "Y" mountain, hoping and hoping (to a ridiculous extent) to see one. 
I got so desperate that I even started shuffling through my i-pod to hear a song about rainbows.
("somewhere over the rainbow"? Do i own that?) 
And a song came on, by Sara Bareilles.
The lyrics go like this: 

All the colors
Of the rainbow
Hidden 'neath my skin

Hearts have colors
Don't we all know?
Red runs through our veins

Feel the fire burning up
Inspire me with blood
Of blue and green

I have hope
Inside is not a heart
But a kaleidoscope

(if you want to hear this beautiful song, visit:

I know this song doesn't really have to do with a testimony AT FIRST,
but as I listened to it I started thinking about rainbows. And colors.
And who created rainbows and colors and human hearts?
Heavenly Father did.
And I kid you not. Just as this song came on, I started to see the glimmer of a rainbow above the "Y" mountain. THAT, my friends, is why my testimony of God and his existence was solidified that day.
And I really testify to you right now:
No matter what your religion is, or your beliefs, I still respect you and love you.
And I want you to know that there IS a Heavenly Father. And he DOES love you, and me and everyone.

"It may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone or forgotten. But always remember- you matter to Him!" 

If you want to learn more about what I believe, visit:

Lastly, I'd like to announce that a week ago I got my Young Woman Medallion :)

It's pretty.

If you want to be happy, be.
-May May 

1 comment:

  1. Maren,
    I didn't even know you got your medallion...I would have liked to see that. love you. i'm proud of you. thanks for sharing your testimony, i don't think I've ever heard it, or read it before. it made me very happy to hear it.